


lost when the wind blows

by eab5c5



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Boys In Love, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Stargazing, Summer Vacation, Swimming, at least not until the end, but they don't know that !!, chenle spends most of this freaking out and honestly mood, this takes place in the french countryside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23876755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eab5c5/pseuds/eab5c5
Summary: They say Paris is the city of love, so it makes sense that Chenle falls in love with Jeno over summer vacation, right? (Only they're not in Paris. They're in Limonest, which is four hours away from Paris by car, and what Chenle feels for Jeno isn't new. It's something he's been ignoring for a long time, but he can't anymore. Not when Jeno looks like the love of his life drenched in late summer sunshine.)
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87
Collections: nono birthday bash





	lost when the wind blows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [englishsummerrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/englishsummerrain/gifts).



> hello, yoon !! i really do hope you enjoy this fic. i was very nervous throughout the whole process of writing it, because i know you said it was your favorite prompt and to treat it well. i am sorry if i didn't do it justice, but i did try my best !! hopefully that shines through somehow skdjfhs (looking back on it now i'm sorry if this is too soft / fluffy ?? and i couldn't figure out a way to mention jeno's cats my bad TT-TT still i hope you enjoy it regardless)

Chenle rolls down his window, watching the French countryside roll by from his spot in the backseat. A light breeze tousles his hair and he can almost hear the wind through his headphones. He must have fallen asleep at one point because he doesn’t recognize the song that's playing.

Someone taps him on the thigh and he turns to look at the boy sitting on the other side of the car. He smiles as Chenle pulls an earbud out, “Yeah?”

“Did you have a good nap?”

“I guess,” he shrugs, lowering the volume of his music so he can hear Jeno better. He rolls the window up too so the wind rushing by isn’t a distraction. “Did you?”

“I didn’t sleep.” Jeno laughs, eyes forming into little half moons when he smiles. “Are we almost there?”

Chenle looks out the window again as the car slows down at an intersection. They’re heading to his family’s summer home on the outskirts of Limonest. Everything is bright and colorful, from pastel houses with lattice-cute fences and all kinds of flowers filling up the gardens and fields. They turn the corner onto a less populated road taking them further out into the country covered in rolling hills and trees. In the far distance are tall, snow-capped mountains, but there’s no chill this far down.

“Just a few more minutes,” he finally responds, yawning and removing his other earbud. Chenle’s a little more awake now and he smiles as Jeno gets this excited gleam in his eyes. “It’s the big yellow house by the forest. You can’t miss it.” 

Jeno nods and turns to look out his own window. From his position on the right side of the car Chenle can see the morning sunshine in Jeno’s light brown hair. It makes him look brighter, full of energy. It’s the most Chenle has seen him smile since the start of summer vacation a month ago. Not that Jeno has been sad. He’s really just been the same, even with most of their friends moving away for university or taking their own extended vacations. He took it in stride, and never lost that smile, but here… it just seems a little more open, a little more free. Chenle is glad he offered to have Jeno come stay with him and his family for the next four weeks in France. Besides getting to hang out, just the two of them, he could show Jeno all the spots he played in when he was younger, as well as the shops in the town a few kilometers away. He’s sure Jeno would like the bakery slash book shop the most. 

"What do you want to do first?” Jeno asks, breaking Chenle out of his thoughts as his mind narrows back to the conversation. Jeno is looking at him again, thoughtful. 

“What do you want to do?” he volleys back, grinning when Jeno pouts.

“Obviously I don’t know, or I wouldn’t be asking you,” Jeno crosses his arms and pretends to be upset even though Chenle can see his lips twitching into a smile. He laughs then and starts wrapping his headphones around his fingers. 

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Tired?”

“No.”

His eyes twinkle with mischief as he looks to Jeno again. Jeno has lost his pout now, replaced by a curious expression as Chenle shoves his headphones in his sweatshirt pocket. He tucks his phone into the back of his jeans. 

“I’ll show you my secret spot then. If you want?”

“You can show Jeno your secret spot _after_ you take your luggage in, Chenle.” Mr. Zhong speaks up from the driver’s seat and Chenle rolls his eyes. His mother turns from her spot in the passenger's side to smile at the two boys and nods as well. 

“I know, dad.”

“We promise we’ll take care of all our stuff before we go anywhere, Mr. and Mrs. Zhong.” Jeno says sweetly, and Mrs. Zhong coos and thanks him. Then his father is pointing out the upcoming house just down the road, and everyone looks towards it as they get closer.

The Zhong family’s summer home is wide and spacious. Two stories tall with a completely furnished basement and an expansive yard of several acres, half of those acres covered with a dense forest. Flowers spill out of the garden lining the sides of the house and the grass is freshly cut. The house is well-taken care of by their staff, and almost looks like walking onto a movie set.

“Wow.”

Jeno is staring at the building in awe, and Chenle reaches out to nudge his leg when the car rolls to a stop.

“Come on. Want to see inside?”

Jeno nods with a smile and they get out of the car.

  
  


+++

“Okay,” Jeno starts, biting into a ripe red apple and getting some juice on his chin. He wipes it off and licks his fingers. “Where’s this secret spot of yours?”

Chenle looks away as he nibbles on his own packet of crackers. He ignores the weird feeling in his stomach and listens as Jeno bites into the apple again. Chenle’s been doing that a lot lately. Getting weird feelings whenever he’s around Jeno, which wasn't that abnormal. They're just a lot more frequent these days.

He looks out the sliding glass door of the kitchen into the backyard. Just beyond that is the treeline. Chenle points in that direction and looks back at Jeno who follows his gesture.

“Out there.”

“In the woods?”

“Kinda? It’s more like this spot that has the woods around it-”

“So in the woods.”

Jeno grins as Chenle levels him with a deadpan expression. 

“Okay, yeah, in the woods. Did you want to go now?” he asks, wiping the crumbs off his t-shirt and crinkling the wrapper as he grabs another cracker. “Or after you’ve finished your apple?”

“Now is fine.”

“Let’s go then.”

  
  


+++

  
  


The walk through the forest isn’t all that eventual. Chenle takes the lead because he’s the one who actually knows this place, and Jeno follows closely behind him so he doesn’t get lost. 

Sometimes Chenle looks behind him to see Jeno studying the trees and plants.

He tosses his apple core somewhere among the shrubbery when it starts tasting a little too bitter. At least an animal will enjoy it. Or the ground. Chenle pointedly ignores Jeno licking the sticky fruit juice from his fingers again as they continue walking. 

It doesn’t take all that long for them to reach their destination.

They walk out of the woods and into a large, oval-shaped clearing. Chenle doesn’t know where it came from or how it’s stayed so hidden, but it’s his favorite place to be when they go on trips. There’s a big pond near the center of the grass and a large willow tree hanging over the edge of the water. There’s even an old rope swing attached to one of the heavy branches. Probably from whoever owned the house before the Zhongs did.

“Woah…this is your secret spot?” Jeno asks next to him, coming to a standstill.

Chenle feels somewhat proud for no reason.

“Yeah. I come out here a lot when I need to think, or just be by myself.”

“And you’re alright with me being here?”

Chenle’s brow furrows in confusion as he turns to look at Jeno. “Well, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” It takes a second for him to realize what he’d said earlier, about coming to this place to be by himself sometimes. True, he’s never brought anyone else back here before, not even his parents, but this is Jeno. The boy who Chenle has always felt most comfortable with out of their friends. The boy who’s never too much or too little.

He’s looking at Chenle now with a barely there smile and nods.

“Okay. What do you usually do here then?” he asks, drawing Chenle away from his thoughts once more. He starts taking a few steps forward, twisting on the spot to look back at the trees they just walked out of.

Chenle shrugs, “I dunno. Just walk around, or sit in the tree.”

Jeno hums, turning his gaze to the expansive grassy field and the pond several feet in front of them, “You ever go swimming in there?”

“What? No, we have a pool,” Chenle says. Of course he’s never jumped _into_ the pond. In fact, he's never even thought about it before. Though it seems Jeno has when he starts tugging his shirt off. “You’re not seriously-” Jeno doesn’t answer him. Instead he throws his shirt at Chenle’s face, laughing, and continues to disrobe. Chenle can hear the rustle of his pants being pulled off. “We don’t know what’s in there, Jeno!” he gripes, pulling the shirt off his face and accidentally breathing in the scent of Jeno’s cologne and sweat.

Jeno almost falls over as he steps out of his pant leg, leaving him dressed only in his boxers with that stupidly confident grin on his face.

“I guess we’re gonna find out.”

He takes off running in the direction of the pond, leaving Chenle standing there with a handful of his clothes. Chenle can’t do anything but stare incredulously as Jeno doesn’t even pause at the edge of the pond, splashing into it until it’s deep enough for him to jump and submerge himself completely. Chenle drops Jeno’s shirt onto the pile of his shoes and pants and jogs towards the pond, waiting for Jeno to come up. 

When he does it’s near the middle of the pond. He pushes his hair back from his forehead and smiles at Chenle from where he’s treading water.

“It’s surprisingly warm!” he yells to Chenle even as he starts to swim closer. 

“You’re fucking crazy, Lee Jeno.” he responds when Jeno is close enough, not expecting the boy to retaliate by splashing water at him. “Hey!”

“Watch your language.”

Jeno doesn’t really care if Chenle swears or not. He’s just using it as an excuse to get Chenle soaked and he knows it. Jeno splashes him again and laughs as Chenle starts cursing more.

“Come on. Swim with me!”

“You’re going to regret that!”

In the end Chenle decides to join Jeno in the pond. His clothes are already wet from Jeno’s splashing, and with the heat coming down from the sky it doesn’t sound like a bad idea. He steps back from the shoreline to pull off his shirt and shoes, then his pants.

Jeno has started floating on his back by the time Chenle walks to the side of the water again. He doesn’t give Jeno any warning before he’s cannonballing into the pond, and he hears Jeno cough and sputter before his sense of hearing is muffled by rushing water. When he comes up laughing Jeno splashes him again in the face and Chenle swims away to avoid getting hit. 

He doesn’t make it very far before Jeno is tackling him from behind and pulling him beneath the surface for a few seconds. Chenle manages to get his arms free and both of them bring their heads up to breathe. 

“That was so not cool!” Jeno says, laughing as Chenle spits out pond water. 

“You’re the one who splashed me first!” he yells back. Chenle can’t keep the grin off his face though, treading water next to Jeno before deciding to swim further out.

Jeno joins him, the two of them floating lazily on top of the water. It’s warm enough that Chenle isn’t shivering too bad. The light breeze is sometimes cold but the heat from the sun cuts through it like a warm knife to butter. Aside from floating they sometimes swim, and Chenle splashes Jeno again when he isn’t looking, starting another water fight that ends with Chenle getting weeds in his hair. 

“Ugh, gross,” he despairs, pulling the soggy plants from his dark locks and tossing them into the water. “Jeno.” he whines, glaring at the other boy even though he probably looks like a wet kitten right now.

“Oh, come here, you big baby.”

Jeno is the one that actually swims towards Chenle instead of Chenle coming towards him, and Chenle has to stop himself from pointing that out. Instead his breath gets caught in his throat as Jeno reaches up to help him get the rest of the weeds out of his hair. For a split second his eyes get caught on a bead of water trailing Jeno’s neck and into the dip of his collarbone. He tears his eyes away quickly, face feeling hot.

“Hey, you okay?” Jeno asks. “Your cheeks are really red.”

“It’s the heat.” he says quietly, and Jeno nods, pursing his lips. 

“Alright. Let’s get out of the sun then. Don’t want you passing out or anything.” He smiles and pulls the last weed from Chenle hair before running his fingers through it, shaking out any stray droplets. Chenle pointedly looks anywhere but Jeno’s face.

  
  


+++

  
  


A few hours later they're sitting together as daytime shifts into evening. The forest around them buzzes quietly with insects and nocturnal creatures. The wind plays with Chenle’s still damp hair.

“So, do you think anything exciting will happen while we’re here?”

Jeno gently kicks his legs from where the two of them are perched in the willow tree on a long, thick branch. They’re dressed in their clothes again - minus the shoes - as an evening summer chill descends on the clearing. 

Chenle shrugs.

“I don’t know. Didn’t we come here to relax?” he asks, looking at Jeno sideways in the light of the sunset. It’ll be getting darker soon. They should probably start heading back to the house. But there’s something keeping Chenle from saying they should leave just yet. Maybe he just wants to spend a few more minutes with Jeno by himself. Maybe it’s the way the sunlight hits the slope of Jeno’s cheekbones and the bridge of his nose just right. He’s positively golden, and Chenle looks away into the dark pond.

“I guess. It’d be fun if something happened though, don’t you think?”

He can feel Jeno’s gaze on him as his feet swing slowly. He’s probably smiling, and Chenle turns his eyes up to the sky. Indigo paints the expanse before him, little white stars starting to burn brighter the farther the sun dips below the horizon. 

“It would be, yeah,” he eventually says. 

He feels a hand on top of his and jumps, finally looking back at Jeno whose face is angled down at their hands. Chenle’s eyes must be the size of dinner plates right now. He’s holding his breath. Jeno squeezes his hand once and lets go, smiling at him before looking up at the stars as well.

“Ah, it’s getting dark. We should probably head back before your parents start worrying.”

Chenle is dazed, but lets out a soft, “Yeah.” 

They descend the tree quietly, pulling on their socks and shoes after dipping their feet back into the pond to wipe away most of the dirt on their soles. The walk back to the house is just as quiet, but not uncomfortable. Chenle thinks back to that moment in the tree when Jeno was almost holding his hand and smiling at the touch, like he had a secret only he knew.

  
  


+++

  
  


The next two weeks passed by in a daze. When they weren’t wandering through the forest or watching TV in the living room, the boys were out taking walks down the empty road or visiting the shops in town. Chenle even convinced his parents to let him drive the car - just him and Jeno.

The drives were starting to become his favorite part of their vacation.

Jeno would turn the music up. Not too loud, but just enough to be heard over the wind rushing by as they rolled down the windows. The early morning scenic routes were quiet. Chenle couldn’t let himself be too distracted behind the wheel, but he enjoyed looking at the greenery and plant life as they drove wherever. In the evening, just before sunset, Jeno would stick his hand out the window and feel the breeze slip through his fingertips. Over the chords of some French song on the radio Chenle would hear him laugh softly.

Still, Jeno sometimes likes to throw him for a loop at the most random of times. 

Out of the corner of his eye Chenle watches as Jeno unbuckles his seatbelt. He lifts up from his seat, body angled towards the window, and Chenle starts slowing the car down, feeling worry spike in his chest. 

“Jeno, what are you doing?” he hisses, mind pulled in five different directions as he turns the music down so Jeno can hear him, and Jeno leans further out the window, hand grappling on the roof of the car so he can turn and pull himself up. Chenle’s foot pulls back from the accelerator and he looks around to make sure no one else is on the road. It’s empty. Just him and Jeno, who’s currently moved to sit on the open window. “Jeno!”

Jeno doesn’t respond to him. Instead he laughs again, and Chenle tries not to be annoyed because Jeno really almost gave him a heart attack. 

He doesn’t stop the car because he doesn’t want Jeno to fall out of it, but he does slow it enough that they crawl along the side of the road. He can’t see Jeno’s face but his posture is relaxed as he rests his head in his arms. The sun roof is open and when he looks up Chenle can see tufts of Jeno’s caramel colored hair float up in the breeze before coming back down. 

“It’s really pretty up here,” Jeno says after a while, startling Chenle who was concentrating on keeping the car moving slowly. 

“What is?” he asks, loud enough for Jeno to hear him from his perch outside the vehicle. He sees the stretch of Jeno’s arm and the lines on his palm as he holds it over the sun roof, pointing towards the sun in the distance. Chenle’s gaze follows his direction and the car finally comes to stop. 

Strokes of orange and yellow paint the far off sky, the sun itself settled against the mountains of the horizon like a giant egg yolk. When he looks farther up the warm tones melt into soft blues that get darker in the west. 

"It is pretty,” Chenle says, turning his attention back to Jeno who’s started to climb back into the passenger seat. He’s smiling as he puts his seatbelt back on. Chenle reaches out to lightly punch him in the arm. “Also, don’t scare me like that again.” he grumbles, and Jeno laughs over the sound of gravel crunching beneath the tires as Chenle starts driving them home. 

They sit together in comfortable silence until Jeno speaks up again.

“Let’s go stargazing.” 

“Now?”

“Tonight. You guys have that balcony, right?” he asks, looking up at the darkening sky through the open sun roof. “I think it’d be fun.”

“Okay.”

When Jeno smiles in his direction Chenle tries to ignore the fluttering in his chest.

  
  


+++

  
  


“Woah. The sky is so clear out here!” Jeno exclaims from the balcony, and Chenle tries not to trip as he walks through the sliding glass door with an armful of blankets. He drops them onto the little table they brought out of Chenle’s bedroom and moves to stand next to Jeno near the railing.

He looks up and sure enough the sky is completely visible. Not a cloud in sight.

“Yeah, it’s usually like that when it isn’t rainy. Probably because we’re out in the country.”

Jeno hums thoughtfully, “Probably. I can never see the stars this well when we’re at home.” Home being Seoul. A big city with lots of noise, lots of light pollution. Of course they wouldn’t be able to see as many stars there. Chenle takes a bit of satisfaction again with the knowledge that his little slice of France gives Jeno the ability to see so much more. For as long as Chenle has known him Jeno has loved the stars and space. Stargazing was a natural activity for them to do.

“Did you want to use a telescope?” Chenle asks, remembering that his dad might have one in the attic. “I can grab it for you.” 

He’s about to start walking away when Jeno grabs him by the shirt sleeve. 

“No, it’s fine,” he says, shaking his head until Chenle relaxes from his walking posture. “I just want to look up at them naturally.”

“Okay. Let’s get the blankets set up then.”

A few minutes later they have their little camp created. Three blankets laid out as much as they can be on the small balcony, a plethora of pillows and whatever snacks Chenle could sneak up without his parents noticing.

Chenle grabs his phone off the little table and joins Jeno on their makeshift bed. 

“Hope it doesn’t storm or anything,” he mumbles, holding back a tired yawn and sinking into the pillows on his side of the blankets. 

Jeno nods, “Me too. Although I don’t think it will. No clouds.”

“No clouds.” Chenle agrees.

Jeno sits back as well, both of them with gazes turned up to the inky sky. It truly does seem so much clearer out here. So much bigger without any skyscrapers blocking the view and helicopters buzzing in the distance. Chenle feels like he could reach up with one hand and scoop out a section of the stars just to bring them closer. He would do it for Jeno, a small part of him says.

Chenle loses track of time the longer they lay there. He’s pretty sure he might fall asleep soon, till he feels Jeno move at his side.

Fingertips dance along his wrist and knuckles before a hand is slipping into his, turning it over so their fingers can intertwine. He breathes in deep and holds it in his chest, eyes wide but not daring to look at the boy next to him. Jeno doesn’t seem to look at him either, but he does squeeze Chenle’s hand. A signal for him to start breathing again. He lets out a heavy breath and closes his eyes, feeling the lines of Jeno’s palm and the calluses on his skin against his. It’s warm.

Neither of them move. Or let go.

Eventually Chenle’s shock shifts into this weird limbo of nervous and comfortable. He doesn’t want to say anything, too scared of saying the _wrong_ thing as his heart beats strongly in his throat. He doesn’t know what to do. He just knows that it feels right. 

He squeezes Jeno’s hand back.

  
  


+++

  
  


For once Chenle is alone.

Okay, that’s a lie. He’s been alone most nights when everyone is asleep. Jeno is in the room next door, and Chenle doesn’t know whether to be thankful for the separation or curse it because...he misses Jeno? Which doesn’t make any sense because they’ve spent every day since this vacation started together. When he wakes up in the morning Jeno is waiting for him in the kitchen for breakfast, and from then until dinner they’re out doing something - always together. It’s only after brushing their teeth and heading to their separate rooms for the night that Chenle is truly by himself.

Which leaves him with only his thoughts. No distractions. 

Sleep escapes him in times like these when all he can do is think. His mind is running at a thousand miles a minute, and no matter how many times he tosses and turns, gets up and paces, the thoughts don’t stop.

They’re mostly about Jeno.

Jeno who’s sleeping just next door and unaware of Chenle’s inner turmoil. (Maybe he’s being a little too dramatic? No, Chenle thinks he’s being reasonably dramatic about the way his heart beats like a double kick drum when Jeno so much as smiles at him.)

And if he can't stop thinking about it then he might as well try to make sense of everything.

So these are the facts.

  1. Chenle’s heart does this weird little dance whenever he’s around Jeno. At first, a long time ago, he thought it was heartburn or something, but then he realized it happened _only_ around Jeno. That points to something else entirely.  
  

  2. Even when he isn’t around him Jeno is all Chenle can think about. If he wasn’t a teenager on the cusp of adulthood this could just be chalked up to hero worship for the boy older than him who treated Chenle like an equal even when they were separated by a grade in school. Except Chenle is almost nineteen and he doesn’t regard Jeno as a hero. It’s definitely not worship.  
  

  3. He knows what the root of all this is, but Chenle is refusing to say it out loud. Or inside his head? Whatever. The point is that Chenle is pretty sure of what’s going on in his head and his heart, but he’s too scared to confront it because it could ruin everything. (He thinks Jeno wouldn’t let that happen. He’s too nice for his own good, but Chenle is aware of the gravity of what he’s feeling, even when he tries so hard to ignore it.)



The elephant in the room doesn’t allow him to sleep.

Chenle still won’t admit it to himself now, even when he’s alone. Especially when he's alone. Because if he does it will become that much more real and then how will he hide it? Part of him says he shouldn’t hide it - take a leap of faith or something like that, but Chenle is just one boy with a confused heart. He tells the universe to let him think about it just a little more. At least until it eats him alive.

+++

  
  


He really thought he could keep it bottled up just a little longer. Just until they only had a few days left in France in case things went south. He didn’t want to stain either of their memories with muddled feelings and unwanted confessions.

Chenle _thought_ he was distracted enough by whatever activities they were doing to not think about it.

Stargazing, swimming, watching television and going out to eat. Even sitting with his parents for dinner, or building pillow forts on the balcony.

Even now, as they run through the backyard in the early evening. When the sun is low enough in the sky to paint it in different shades of purple, but gives off just the right amount of light that no one would be nervous spending a few more minutes outside. Enough stars are shining that they hadn’t bothered to turn on the porch lamp.

Two hours have been spent now passing a ball between the two of them, attempting to catch it in various, elaborate ways that ended up with bruised elbows and mouthfuls of dirt. A good distraction for Chenle, for the most part. 

He tosses the ball in Jeno’s direction and Jeno has to jump to catch it, the object almost slipping from his fingers before he pulls it to his chest and stumbles backwards. 

“Fuck, I’m tired,” he whines, looking at Chenle and probably hoping he’ll take the hint.

Chenle laughs, “Alright, alright. We’ll stop for now. Happy?”

“Yes!” Jeno drops the ball and falls along with it, laying on his back. The ground must be cooler than the air. Chenle walks over and flops down next to him, and Jeno laughs while nudging him in the leg. 

Chenle lays there and collects his breath until it evens out again, his limbs sprawled out, grass tickling the bare skin of his arms and gaze turned up to the sky like that night a week ago.

Jeno is also looking up, no doubt mapping the constellations in his head. Chenle’s eyes slowly slip away from the stars as he turns his head to look at Jeno. Really look at him. Jeno’s cheeks are pink from spending so many days outside, a bit burnt from forgetting to apply enough sunscreen. His hair is messy from running around earlier, fluffed around his ears from where he needs a haircut. Chenle can still see the mole just under Jeno’s eye even in the dying sunlight. He wants to press his lips to the skin there, feel Jeno’s warmth against his mouth to remind him of the boy that makes him feel so alive. 

His heart beats erratically in his chest as the answer that’s been on the tip of his tongue since this trip started finally falls.

He’s in love.

He's _been_ in love. All this time. Perhaps since the first day they met when Chenle was new to town and Jeno's family lived just next door, and Jeno was the first person to hold his hand besides his parents and make him feel welcome. _Loved_. 

“Jeno.” 

He says the other boy’s name without thinking about it. Naturally, like it’s meant to be there, somewhere in the bite of his teeth and the curl of his tongue. It gets Jeno’s attention as he turns to look at Chenle. The easy smile slowly falls from his face when he takes in Chenle’s expression. God, Chenle must look like he’s about to throw up. He feels like it.

“Yeah?” Jeno asks softly, rolling so he can push himself up on his elbows. He watches carefully as Chenle tries to come up with something, anything to say. He’s scared, but he doesn’t think he can keep this hidden for much longer. “What is it, Lele?” And there it is. That nickname Jeno has been using since they were kids. He says it with so much affection that Chenle might actually cry right here and now. 

He has to say it.

Chenle looks away and back up to the sky. He breathes in, tasting the late summer air, playing back all the memories they’ve made so far and makes one final wish that he doesn’t ruin them. It's like the first day of vacation again, jumping into the pond and feeling the water surrounding him, drowning him.

“I’m in love with you.”

.

.

.

Silence.

Cicadas buzz somewhere in the distance and Chenle looks like he wishes the ground would swallow him whole. The grass rustles as Jeno moves to lean over him, keeping his expression carefully blank.

“Do you mean it?” he asks quietly, like the smallest noise could shatter the moment.

Chenle keeps looking away from him, unable to find the words to respond. He nods instead, and relief pools in Jeno’s chest immediately, along with a warmth that he’s always felt in Chenle’s presence. Chenle who still looks like he’s seconds away from a heart attack because Jeno hasn’t said anything yet. He keeps staring at Chenle for a few seconds longer to map his face behind his eyelids. Jeno’s heart pounds against his ribcage. 

He smiles then and he knows Chenle has seen it when his breath hitches quietly.

No use hiding it anymore. 

“I’m in love with you too.”

+++

Chenle had forgotten. He didn't drown in the pond that first day, and the water had been warm. So warm. 

**Author's Note:**

> btw here's a few songs i listened to while writing this - i planned on making a playlist, but it was hard to find more songs that fit with my vision w h e ez e the title comes from the second song (also the playlist was going to be called "you smiled when we kissed, and i knew this was love." dsjkfhsh do with that what you will)
> 
> [sarah come home - allie x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LOzvZGlNxA)  
> [only the young - brandon flowers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBENjCPS8LI)  
> [terrified - terror jr](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvvKKTCRm58)


End file.
